2009

Boy what a busy year it has been! So much has happened and changed, it's hard to believe it's only been ONE YEAR. Wow, as I am thinking over these past months, I have realized everything is flowing together. I get very lost in 2008 and 2009 because I went through so many changes. I guess my year really started in late August, early September of 2008. That is when I decided that I was going to leave all my college plans and family behind in Oregon and move to the D.C. Metro area with Alan.


I had no idea what to expect or if I would like it. Also, I found out that I was pregnant within the first two weeks of being in Virginia. Next thing I knew, I was going to be a mom, and was married. We got married September 26, 2008 in the court house of Alexandria, Virginia at 12:45 PM : )


The rest of 2008 was a blur. Before I knew it, one year ago today I found out that Brittney was a Brittney, not a little Lucas : ) I can't believe it!! Exactly one year ago today I found out I was having a girl! How exciting!!! I can't believe it. Anyways, now onto more of 2009. The early part of the year was kind of a blur. I was homesick, and still had mixed feelings on having a baby so soon.


March came and I got to spend a weekend with my mom. We played "tourist" and went to all the museums and it was great. I had never been soooo excited to see my mom. I missed her so much and it just made my day to be able ot see her. Next thing I knew, it was time for Brittney to come. Whether or not we were prepared or not, she was coming!


Labor was rather strange. I had lost my mucous plug early in the morning and was pretty excited. I called and let my doctor know, but decided to wait until 8PM to call again and then consider going to the hospital. I lasted until about 7PM. A short five hours later, I had a little Brittney FINALLY in my arms, WOW.


The next few months passed fairly quickly. I adjusted to being a mom faster than I thought. It was great, she brought so much happiness to me. I got to come home in August and spend time with my family. They got aquainted with Brittney and definitely fell in love! We lost my Grandma Glena in August also. I was very fortunate to be home and make it to her funeral/celebration of life service. She was in her eighty's and was my dad's mom. It was great seeing my family and such that I hadn't seen in years.


Besides having a baby, Alan and I experienced yet another huge adjustment. Just barely a year into our marriage, he went to Afghanistan to earn us more money and hope better us. Because of this choice, I have been able to come home!! I love being back home again and being so close to my friends and especially my family!! I have felt so lost this past year without them. I miss Alan, but I know all of this is worth it and everything will be fine. My grandparents are being blessed by being able to get to know their great granddaughter. It's great! I am also finally back in school continuing my music degree! I bought my math and philosophy books today and felt so excited!


So much has happened this year. I have grown and changed so much. My family and I have finally gotten back on the right track. I feel like another year of hardships, lack of communication, depression, excitement, and happiness has come and gone very quickly. I have realized that no matter what, your family loves you. Family is forever no matter what happens. It has been reinstated that we can get through anything with good communication and love. Happy New Year's to all! I hope that everyone has a spectacular beginning to the new year. Also, I'd like to send a special shoutout to my Marian : ) May your labor and recovery be wonderful and as easy as possible. I will be thinking about you and Alexander and be sending happy, positive thoughts your way as he makes his entrance into the world in 2010. Love you both!!!

Christmas Time Has Come and Gone...

Brittney's first Christmas was a success!!! She did wonderfully. She was up at seven thirty and didn't even take a mid morning nap. She was up until almost noon!! She continued to play with all of her gifts. She even opened up some of her gifts!! Oh man, it was great being home for Chrismtas. Such a wonderful time of the year the holiday's are!!


The picture is of Great-Grandpa and Britt opening stocking stuffers. She was soooo happy and such a great baby. Oh man, I love her to death!


Christmas dinner was amazing!!! We had a prime rib roast and potatoes, and green bean casserole, grandma's Christmas pie, oh man, the list goes on and on. Basically it was great. Oooo, okay, I'm getting so side tracked and forget what I'm talking about, lol.


Unfortunately my dad is sick now. He doesn't feel too well and yea, it kinda sucks. I feel bad for him. This is the second time that he hasn't felt well this year! Wow, poor dad.


Now onto more LOST! Wooo hoo. OMG, onto other news, I MIGHT be going to the Rose Bowl...although I'm not getting my hopes up, but I MIGHT. OMG. Woooo hooo! Anyhow, watching LOST with the family :)

Good Friends

I got to see my wonderful friend Cassidy and her husband and boy Wyatt today. Ahhh, Wyatt has gotten so big! He's about 15 months old now. I saw him when he was 6 weeks old, and then again when he was about 8 months old. He is such a sweetie!


We had a fun lunch date. It was great catching up! Brittney and Wyatt had such a blast together!!! From the moment Britt saw him, she was all smiles and giggles. It was the cutest things watching them interact. Wyatt would feed her crackers and pet her and talk...oh man, they were just too cute!!


Britt is oficially like 7 months old! She is growing up soooo fast. Wow, pretty soon she will be crawling. Anyway, I have to go. Exhausted. Just wanted to share my joy of friends! xoxo

La Grande CAN be fun...

Today Maegs and I were thinking about doing something and sadly we kept coming up with blanks. See, La Grande is VERY boring and VERY uneventful--especially on a Tuesday night. Since we have no bowling alley anymore, there isn't really anywhere to hang out or chill, except for the bars. Bars are very noisy, and too expensive. Finally we decided we'd go get food at Denny's. Since it is open 24 hours, we didn't have to worry if we were there too late or what not.


We picked up our friend from high school and headed to dinner. We ended up staying there for about three hours? Basically we were there for what seemed FOREVER! We finally left about ten til ten because we decided we all wanted DQ!! Nothing like ice cream on a cold night, but whatever. Ice cream is ALWAYS good. Well we got our ice cream and sat in my car for another ten minutes debating on what to do. Finally I just started driving...


We ended up at our local park. We sat in my car for another hour just talking. Gosh I don't even remember what about. I kept looking outside at the snow on the ground thinking I wanted to go crazy and run around. After a while, Maegs and I both decided that it'd be pretty fun to be crazy and silly and run around outside and take pictures. Thus bringing us to the picture on this page. There aren't even words to describe this other than it was pure fun!!


Hanging out with good friends being silly is the best thing ever. We ran around for a good amount of time, froze a little, and laughed more than we had in a while! It is just such a great release to just run around and feel like kids again. Ahh, we are only young once, and there is nothing like finding joys in being outside freezing, taking silly pictures, and spending time with those that you love! It was our spontaneous moment of the week...although I'm sure there are going to be many more spontaneous moments this break! We definitely have a lot of fun together, thus being best friends. Anyways, I'm exhausted from our exhilarating, fun filled night. Love you all!! xoxo

Freezing to Snowing

I haven't blogged in quite a while and realized I should get back into it. I have missed blogging but have been kind of busy. I am very thankful that finals are over, I can't believe how quickly this term ended. I believe that it was a very successful term in and of itself. I can't wait to see how busy and exciting next term will be! I will be taking theory, violin lessons, chamber ensemble, orchestra, college algebra, and philosophy--politics, ethics and law. I am very excited about my philosophy class; although, it's at 8 AM four days a week! Yikes. Oh well, it'll be good for me, besides, I do have a baby now : )


Speaking of babies, Britt is almost 7 months old! Man they grow up so fast. She is such a great blessing and joy to be around. She is deifnitely full of personality and spunk. She is a very happy cheerful baby and loves to giggle and talk. She is an absolute joy and is very much like me. People like to joke how she is certainly her mother's daughter! Boy is Alan going to have his hands full when he returns if we continue on this path of her being like me. She is growing every day by leaps and bounds and it just amazes me how much you can love a little, well, chubby thing of flesh and bones. She is beautiful and I love her so much!


The weather has been crazy lately!! This past week the high has been maybe 16 degrees with a huge wind chill so it felt more like 1. Every day when I would head into town it would be around 3 degrees, burr!! Finally, it broke and got up into the twenties yesterday and it felt glorious. My friend told me I should get my snow tires soon because he heard it was going to snow this weekend. Sure enough, I woke up to a white fluffy, four inch deep blanket of snow. It was beautiful; I don't think I've been this excited to see snow in my life! Snow means that it is no longer 3 degrees; it's thirty degrees more than that, woo hoo.


I was supposed to go to another hockey game tonight, but I am battling a sinus infection and had a terrible headache. I realized that headache and hockey was a disaster waiting to happen. I have been taking a lot of sudafed and drinking emergen-c trying to get better. I don't want to spend all of Christmas break sick : (


Anyway, that is all for now. I don't have much else to report. I will do my best to continue blogging now that I have a lot of spare time. Love you all and wish you the best this holiday season!!! xoxo

I Am Thankful For...

Today was Brittney's first Thanksgiving. I am sad that her daddy wasn't there to share this wonderful day with us, but I know he was in our hearts. I know that he loves us more than anything else in the world, otherwise he wouldn't be in Afghanistan right now. I am so thankful for him! He is the most amazing man in the world. And, he's pretty excited that he's gained 12 pounds. Haha, one of the many reasons I love him, but just one. I love him so much and now that we have started to make a decision on our future, I feel even better about everything.


I am thankful for my wonderful parents whom without, I wouldn't be able to be doing the things I'm doing. They are the best grandparents in the world, any child would be lucky to have them! Luckily, they're Brittney's grandparents. They love her more than anything else in the world. She loves them too. If they weren't here helping me out, I wouldn't be in school and doing all the things I've been doing. They are such amazing people!


I am also so thankful for all my friends. Ah, I believe that I have some of the greatest friends a girl could ask for. I am so lucky to be so blessed in so many ways. I don't know how I ended up so darned lucky in life. My friends are the bomb. I have such a wide array of friends too, it's great. I am glad to be near my Oregon friends agian, but I find myself missing my Virginia girls too. Anyway, I love you all and hope today was wonderful for you guys!


Finally, I am sooooo thankful for the beautiful little gift I was blessed with known as Brittney. She is the sweetest, most adorable little creature in the world. She brings so much joy to my life and fills me with happiness! She is growing rapidly and I can't believe that she's already half a year! Man oh man does time fly. She is one of the greatest blessings ever. I am so happy that she is my daughter. I am so happy to be her mommy. Her smile just makes any day better, I love it! Anyway, that's all for now. I love you all!!!

BIRTHDAY!

Oh my goodness, I am sooooo excited for my birthday!! At first I was like, eh, whatever, I don't really care...now that Maegs and I have been doing some planning I'm getting stoked. I know it's going to be so much fun!! My actual birthday night is going to be low key. I am inviting whomever wants to/can make it, to have dinner at La Fiesta from 5:00-6:30. Sadly I have rehearsal at 6:30 so it's going to be pretty short.


The real festivities will be taking place Saturday December 5th around 9PM. Or whenever the Holiday Music Festival is over. Who knows, but I'm excited. THEN...Maegs and me are going to hit the bars. Nothing crazy Alan. Just walking around and being carded mainly. I think for any drink that I have, it's like 2 glasses of water...we've been carefully making sure that I'm well paced and don't drink too much too fast. Or just not to drink too much in general. Plus, I do have another concert on Sunday afternoon, so it won't be a really late night. Mainly just pictures, and clean, happy, SAFE fun with Maegs.


I got some fun clothes to wear...out and just in genearl. I got a couple of cute skirts that are knee length so that's cool! I'll have you know babe (ALAN), that everything is very modest and NOT slutty in any way shape or form. There are no boobies hanging out, no clevage--not that I have any--no ass showing. So you won't have to worry about that!


I'm pretty stoked about these awesome looking zebra glitery like pumps I got too. AH, they are awesome. And surprisingly comfortable. I have definitely been getting into wearing heels all the time again. Ooo, I have a lot of preparation to be doing in terms of my looks between now and then. My legs are SOOOO pasty white. I think I'm going to have to get some self tanner or something, lol. Even though it'll be dark. I might even wear tights or something, who knows.


But the excitement is definitely starting to kick in! Tomorrow night Maegs is coming over and we're going to eat dinner and watch Twlight and start doing some planning. I'm pretty excited. It'll be a girls night with just the two of us, lol. But it'll be spectacular and great fun catching up. I am hoping to go to a Hockey game with them too on Saturday, but I don't know if I will be able to, we'll see. I would fee bad leaving Brittney, but I don't know yet...


Anyways, I'm still exhausted and I really want to read more New Moon. This one is kinda more boring, but still the same, it's good. Anyhow, good night!! I love you all much!!! XOXO

Sunday Manicure's

Ahh, I have finally done my nails agian on Sunday. I love it. It's always a great way to start the week. Even if I only have two days of class...OMG, I am recording soooo soon!!!!! I don't think I'm ready for this, shit! Ahh, sudden wave of panic coming across my mind. But I am too tired to let it get much further than a fleeting thought.


Anyways, I can't wait for Thanksgiving break!!! It is soooo close. I am ready for some down time. I am happy that the concerts are over...for now. Ahh, I realized when I get back from Thanksgiving break, starting on Sunday the 28th, I have to play for the Festival of Trees, then Tuesday I have a youth orchestra concert, Wednesday is my birthday/quartet rehearsal/orchestra rehearsal, Thursday is more last minute cramming for quartet, Friday we play at the president's house, and Saturday and Sunday is the holiday music fest. It's going to be a busy next two weeks. Oh well, very excited for next term.


I can't wait!!! I am pretty stoked about my classes, but we'll see. I think I'm going to be really busy; however, I am going to make time to work out religiously. If there is anything that I am determined to do...it's get back into shape. It'll be hard and take time, but I'm going to do it. Anyhow, I'm exhausted. Love you all. I will write more later!!


xoxo

Many Performances!

I find myself playing in more and more performances than I really want to. Ahh, it's so much of a commitment. But it definitely keeps me busy and out of trouble--not that I'm up to no good to begin with : ) I have felt very much over played though! I have a lot of homework still to do between now and Tuesday though. I absolutely HAVE to get to the library tomorrow to finish my research for the KEOL broadcast.


I am soooo ready for this week to be over!! I can't wait. I'm soooo excited for Thanksgiving break, it is going to be a glorious time. I feel like I need to see a massuse or something for my back, lol. Anyway, I think Thanksgiving break will be amazing!! I can't believe a year has passed since Alan and I made our first Thanksgiving meal together. It was actually pretty fun. I have found that although I am very happy to be back home, I miss Virginia. I miss my friends that I made and I feel like I'm missing out on so much! Marquet had Alex Jr, Marian is going to have Alexander soon, and I definitely miss my workout/panera dates with Jessica!! I will definitely be visiting when finances allow!!


Alan and I have been talking a lot over IM and not so much over phone. He has been VERY busy so we haven't had much time. Well, what am I saying, I've been really busy too!! Haha, I guess we're so together, but so busy. I miss him something fierce some days, and there are other days where it seems like he's still here. I know it seems weird, but it does. I got new car fresheners for my car...the same ones I used to have in my truck; man it brought some memories flooding back into my mind. I definitely thought about our first sorta date in my truck, hanging out, him steering for me when I was learning how to park...it seems like a completely different life. In some ways it was, but it feels like I was just so young then. I know it wasn't even two years ago, but boy have things changed.


I have been busily reading the Twiligh series now. Heather definitely had been talking about it so much that I broke down and started reading it and I haven't been able to put it down since. I have been soooo sleep deprived because I can't stop reading the darned book! It's kind of nice though to have found another series to read. My favorite series still I think would have to be "A Wrinkle In Time" by Madeline L'Engle. Those were definitely fun books!


Anyways, it is really getting late and I should get some sleep. Have another performance of "Hello Dolly" tomorrow night, then another orchestra perfromance in Baker on Saturday...wooo hoo!! Anyhow, much love to you all. Good night!!

Overdoing it leads to being sick :(

I have been doing great on avoiding the dreaded "sick." Sadly, with all of my rehearsals and late nights--see tonight--I have managed to get a cold. I have been taking cold medicine and drinking so much water I am always going to the bathroom! I suppose that's a good thing though.


The concert went surprsingly well! I managed not to make a complete fool of myself and it was rather enjoyable. I am glad that it's over though. The wind is howling like crazy so I don't really want to be driving back and forth over the pass.


I just talked to Alan for a good amount of time on IM. It's great having the best husband ever! I have found that all of my friends have "The Best Husband Ever." I feel so great knowing that me and the ones that I love dearly have great spouses too. We are very blessed to have amazing men in our lives! This deployment has helped our relationship in more ways than one. Yes it's hard sometimes, but where our relationship needed the most work it seems to be helping.


Communication had never been our strong point. I mean we could talk, but that was after a disagreement over when to cook dinner. We were never entirely open about our feelings and would argue over petty things a lot. Now, being away, we can't wait to share everything with each other! I feel our openess with our feelings has jumped so much since we've been apart. I guess since that's about the only way we know how to stay super close...be 110 percent honest with each other. Overall, it seems to be working out great! I love him so much and am thankful EVERY DAY for all that he does.


I got together with Erika tonight and we did our theory homework at Denny's. Call me crazy, but it was kinda cool! I felt like a real college student...studying and doing homework! It was great :) Luckily we both understand 7th chords really well so figuring out the inversions wasn't hard at all. Although, we will know for sure how well we understand it once we get the assignments back...ahh! I don't know , I have just been trying to not second guess myself.


Okay, the wind is REALLY howling and it's kind of scary. I used to be terrified of the wind when I was younger, I'd always end up in my parent's room scared to death! Now I'm just totally freaked and cold. Well i really should get some rest since I have a very busy week ahead of me still! Anyway, good night everyone! Love you all and am definitely thinking about you! Ahh I have the greatest friends ever! Love to my Virginia ladies whom I miss very much! And of course lots of love to my Heather and Maegs, both who know me better than anyone else. Ooo, almost forgot, the most important person of all, my Alan!! I love you soooo much babe and I can't WAIT for you to come home on vaca!!! Good night : )

The end of one friendship is the blossoming of another.

Somehow, a friendship that I thought ment something has ended. It ended abruptly with no prior signs or hints. I guess I am hurt, shocked, numb, and just don't care. I don't know how to explain it. All I know is that I am more in love with Alan as I ever have been. I don't know, something has gone off in my mind and it was like...*I have the best husband ever and I love him* ...yea, it was something like that.


Even though one friendship came to an end, I have found a new, even better friendship. [Besides the one I am finding in my hubby] It's strange how friendships occur. I have known this person since our freshman year at EOU. We lived down the hall from each other, but we never really talked. We exchanged words, but other than that, nothing too exciting. Recently, we have become really good friends! It's amazing having another person to talk to and such. We hang out and motivate each other to study, stay focused, and work out. Strange, but true. We are definitely good influences on each other.


We talk about everything! We ask each other for advice, gossip, babble about nothing, watch South Park, eat random food, text about absolutely nothing, and just hang. I have missed having a friend like that. Alan and I have also been getting along really well. Not that we have been having issues, but I feel like we're communicating much better.


This sounds crazy, but even though the distance sucks, I feel as though it is bringing us closer together. We are talking a lot more, and it seems like we're more honest with each other. That seems weird, but I guess it's because we are forced to talk a lot more if we want to keep close. We don't take things for granted, such as conversation times. We actually cherish the times we get to talk via IM or whatnot. And we both wait impatiently for emails from each other. I feel like we have things to talk about and I know I love him more each day.


Emailing is great. I feel we're more honest that way because there is no "tone" so we don't get upset over nothing. Being across the world from each other is not a time where you want to fight or get in little disagreements over a tone of voice. Haha. Believe me, we did that a couple times and that just wasn't cool!! Email, we can say anything and if the other person is upset, then we have to write an entire email first lol. By that point, we normally calm down and can have a good conversation. If it was purely a disagreement on the phone, we'd be hanging up, redialing, and hanging up again several times! That's just how we work : )


We have gotten a lot better though about getting along. I don't know, I love him, he loves me, that's all there is to it. Anyhow, I am soooo exhausted. I will write more later. I hope you all are having a great week! Love you all and miss you guys! xoxo

Music Is Where My True Passion Lies.

I have been at war with myself for a few years. I never knew what I wanted to do. When I look back on the little girl that first learned how to play, I realize that I do love playing! It was always such a thrill and something I was good at. It wasn't until later that I actually appreciated the talent I was given. I wasn't sure if that was what I REALLY wanted to do. There are so many other areas of study I am interested in--Astronomy, International Relations, Math. I guess part of my thoughts on becoming a music major was all the time and money that was invested by my parents. I know that's a horrible reason to choose something, but I was so lost.


After moving back to DC and taking a year off of study, I realized that music is where I am supposed to be. It is my one true calling. I love playing, I am growing to appreciate practicing, and I still love performing. I am finally ready to buckle down and be the responsible music major, haha. It just makes me so happy to be playing again. I have also found a great deal of change in my practice sessions and how quickly I learn things.


Yesterday I had my first rehearsal with Mio, the staff accompianist and she's phenomenal! I was really nervous, but once I relaxed and everything, it sounded amazing! It was great to perform again, even if it was just a rehearsal. It was great just playing again. You don't realize how much you love something until you don't do it for a while. I am so thankful that I have realized how much I love playing, and that music is my calling!


On a lighter note, my improvistation skills still aren't the greatest and today at 3PM the Fiddle Ensemble is supposed to be recording the Jig that we wrote...ahh, lol. Anyhow, hope everyone is having a good week so far, even though it's only Tuesday. Xoxo

Slight Disappointment...Extreme Happiness

I am very excited to play in the Oregon East Symphony, and I love what we're playing. I was very excited to play Symphony No. 8 by Antonio Dvorak. I LOVE this symphony. Anyway, I had thought that I had played second violin on it, but I had actually played first TWICE. Now I'm actually having to learn this music. On top of that, being principal second, I'm slightly scared...lol. I know all will be fine, but it's still kind of intimidating. Needless to say, I was slightly disappointed about playing a part that I hadn't played before, but at the same time, I was intrigued!


I am loving my car a lot. It's great having my own transportation! I can't even explain how amazing it is. I was definitely worried about not knowing or remembering how to drive...lol. Ahh, it's wonderful. I have named her Felicity. Yes, it's werid naming your vehicle, but I'm weird :) But I do love the meaning of Felicity. It means "Happiness". I think it's perfect!


Anyhow, I am exhausted and slightly stressed. I have hit a soft brick wall in my practicing. Ahh, I need to focus. Everything is coming up SOOOO soon!!! I am soooo not ready to record my broadcast for EOU's KEOL Radio, haha. Oh well, we'll see. I am very ready to be done with this term! Don't get me wrong, I'm loving it, but yea...lol. Okay, well I'm going to watch BONES, so I'll write more later, lol. Plus Brittney is stuck on her stomach haha. Night!

Snow ... in OCTOBER!?

It has been kind of snowing off and on. Surprisingly it has been great! Cold, but neat. The flakes this morning were really big and fluffy; it felt like Christmas time! I was pretty excited. I know a lot of people have mixed feelings about snow, but, I love it!


I have another violin student. This lady is an adult and she's nice. I'm excited to have another student!! I think I have also decided to play in the pit orchestra for the high school's rendition of "Hello Dolly". I know it'll be great fun! I am still so ecstatic that I am playing my violin so much more now. It really does make me more happy than anything else!! It is the greatest feeling of acomplishment when your student understands what you're trying to teach, or is excited about learning!


Anyway, just wanted to share the beautiful picture of the flower thing with snow on it. Good night!

Home.

I love how gorgeous my family's house and property is during the fall. I have definitely missed it! No matter where Alan and I end up, home will always be where mom and dad are. I know it's weird, but I am such a home person. I am definitely not one to like change. I adjust eventually...BUT, it's still hard. I love home, and I have missed this valley sooo much.


Brittney has learned to make a new horrid noise! It sounds like she's in pain, but the thing is, she just wants attention. She has finally learned that all she has to do is scream annoyingly and someone will pick her up. Haha, it's sooo cute though. She is talking a lot now too. I have been trying to get video recordings of her growing and making milestones. It's amazing how fast they grow!


Tonight during bath she about gave me a heartattack! I was soaping her up and she slipped and went head/face first into the water and hit her head on the bottom of the sink. I instantly grabbed her soooo fast and brought her out of the water and was freaking out. She didn't cough or cry and I was sooooo worried! I didn't know what to do. I called mom into the kitchen to help and was like, MOMMMM!!! Help!!! Finally she coughed a little, eyes watering, and then started to cry. Man, it was terrifying. I've decided that's just one of those rights of passages that us as mom's go through. Man, I was soooo happy she was fine! But man oh man I never want to go through that again!


Each day as I watch her grow and dress her in other clothes, she looks a lot like my old pictures. It kinda makes me sad and happy at the same time. I love her soooo much!! But yes, sometimes she looks exactly like me. Having her kinda makes me realize that I want to know more about my past, but I don't know. I still don't think that I am quite ready for that journey yet. I have some other things to work out before I try and tackle that. Haha. But don't we all?


Anyhow, I am going to get some more food, I am finally hungry again. I wasn't feeling well and couldn't really eat, but now I'm starving! Anyhow, I love you all much! Have a good night!!! xoxo

coffee + catching up with [best] friends + dinner = acts of spontaneity

I love this girl! Between her and Heather, I am one VERY happy mom, wife, girl. Ahh, she's the best. She definitely brings out the fun and good in me. I don't knonw what I'd do without her : )


Anyhow, I met up with Robert for the first time in EVER and it was great! Him, me, and Maegs sat at Starbucks talking about everything and some for about three hours. It was great catching up with Robert. I love my friends. It was just an all around great day. After that, Maegs and I dropped off the check that Alan's parents were bugging him about today. Oh man, that was just ughhh, I don't know. Whatever. I made Maegs give it to her--Barb. Anyway, after that was done, we went and got Chinese food, yum!


We sat there for a good hour or so talking and catching up some more. Afterwards as we were heading to her car, I saw the new tattoo place and was going in to check prices and such...well, that turned into me getting one. Ahh, I was soooo nervous and such, but I absolutely LOVE it. Everytime I look at it I get more and more excited. It's a little birdie made out of musical symbols. The "f" or Forte notation is her wings, a fermata is her eye, a crescendo sign is her beak/mouth, a slur or tie is her body, and a carrot accent mark is her feet. I'm still deciding on a name for her. But she's definitely a girl! Yes, I'm naming my tattoo. Anyhow, I was petrified, but it was awesome. It didn't hurt that bad. There was a little part as he was going over my bone that hurt a little, but I kept telling myself...I went through labor, I had an epidural, this is nothing! And compared to having a baby, it really was nothing. LOL.


I absolutely LOVE it. Which is a good thing, but I really do. It's sooo cute and perfect. And it's not a treble clef or something like that. Ahh, I'm sooo happy and giddy about it! But yes, it was awesome. I figured I'd do that, lol. It was great having Maegs there. She is amazing!! And it only took about 3 minutes...maybe 5. Ahh, I'm still happy : )


Ahh, so my phone is in Maegs' car so I won't get to talk to Alan for a while, but it'll be alright. I'll email him and tell him how much I LOVE him. He's amazing. I miss him a lot and I can't wait for him to get back. Plus I really want to sit down and talk to him. Ooo, random side note, I got Brittney a Winnie the Pooh walker thing that matches her swing. She's just a tad short/not quite strong enough to walk/or stand. But she's getting there. I figure in a couple weeks she should be able to touch the floor. I also got her a piano thing she can kick and it lights up. She is slowly starting to learn about toys. She's still a little young, but she's growing so fast, that yea : )


Anyhow, here's a picture of the finished product! Have a great night everyone. Maegs, I LOVE YOU!!!! xoxo

Shopping = Love

Today I went to Boise with my mom and had a blast!!! It has been soooo long since I've actually gotten to buy new clothes. I was soooo happy. I went to Victoria's Secret and found a couple bra's I liked since I'm almost done nursing. OMG, it was the coolest feeling to be able to get a bra and have it fit! I got four and it was definitely my most expensive purchase today. But it is so worth it! I think I have FINALLY found a bra that I absolutely LOVE, which is amazing. It is very comfortable.


I did good on not spending A LOT. I spent quite a bit, but refrained from a lot of things. There was a Dooney and Burke purse I really wanted, and a Coach purse that was GORGEOUS, but they were around $300 so I said NO. Haha. I will save up my teaching money for something like that. I got some great stuff. I got a sweatshirt from AE, and a pair of bright pink skinny courdoroy's, a sweatshirt from Aeropostale and a couple t-shirts, a dress shirt for orchestra, and a lot of Brittney clothes. It felt great to buy some new clothes! Even my mom made the comment that it was time for some new clothes.


I got Brittney some really cute coveralls. It's great because they snap in the crotch. Pants are a pain to take on and off. LOL. She also got this ADORABLE hat with bunny ears on top of it. Ah, I can't wait to get some pictures up. She is growing rapidly and is adorable. She can ALMOST sit too!! It is amazing how fast they really do grow. Her hair is growing back in too which is such a great relief. Her hair in the back is SOOOO long! Her two little teeth are popping through and showing more and more each second it seems. We are almost done with the nursing. I have lasted this long and it's great. I am just getting to the point where I want/need to have some away time and have other people be able to feed her.


I finally made the changes to my FAFSA so hopefully I'll get some financial aid? Ugh, I really, really hope so, but am not sure how things work out? I need to go up and talk to the financial aid place, lol.


Right now I am watching A Walk To Remember, oh how I love this movie! Now that I'm back, it seems like everyone is aking me to do things...musically that is. I got asked to play for the high school musical and yea, not sure. I said I'd think about it and get back to her. I just don't know if I have time for this! Especially since I don't have a vehicle I would be at my parent's mercy and dad is getting tired of driving me around and waiting for mee. But now that I'm thinking, I don't know if I can play...I think it MIGHT conflict with an OES concert in Pendleton, but I'll look and see.


But seriously, today was great!! It was awesome going shopping with my mom. Brittney is going to look so cute in her outfits too! I'm going to do a photo shoot with the new camera soon too. We are going to take some halloween pictures too. We're going to either find a pumpkin patch or buy a pumpkin and put her next to it, but who knows. Babies never cooporate, lol. Oh well. I'm going to try really hard to get some good pictures. I will be posting more pictures soon too : )


Tomorrow I am possibly hanging out with Maegan and am also going into town to a piano concert and the OMTA (Oregon Music Teacher's Association) Competition is at EOU so mom and I were thinking about listening to some of the performers. I need to practice tomorrow too so I think I'll do that before we go into town? I don't know. But I am very excited none the less. I am pretty stoked to keep practicing and getting the Symphonie Espagnole (1st movement) better. I've contacted Mio and she's excited to play it with me. She's the staff accompianist and apparently she's awesome!


Anyway, I'm exhausted and am going to watch my movie. I'll talk to you all soon!!! And I PROMISE to be posting more pictures soon : ) Good night, xoxo

Camera, Orchestra, Music.

So I got a new digital camera! I am SOOOO happy to have another camera. OMG, it's amazing. It was on sale too and is great quality. The sales lady said that SONY makes the best digital cameras. It's 12.1 mega pixles and has a 4x optical zoom. I'm loving it already! And it's amazingly quick with the shutter speed which is crucial if you're trying to catch Brittney laughing or smiling.


Orchestra went well tonight, am exhausted and my back is sore, but other than that it's no biggie. I can actually play the music decently. Haha, I really should actually practice it. Luckily it's not too bad. Okay, so I was enthused to write a blog, but now I suddenly got VERY tired. I guess I'll write more tomorrow. Good night!

Brittney, Spike, and cool autumn days.

Brittney did wonderfully yet again! Two days in a row where she's slept through the night, woo hoo!! She's been getting up just before my alarm and eats. Then she goes back to sleep until we leave for town and sometimes falls asleep on the ride in. She is getting bigger by each feeding it seems!! Sometimes it seems like her output doesn't keep up with her input, lol. We have a very healthy baby girl, that's for darned sure!! Right now, she's at my feet playing/scratching at the wall. It's a new texture and makes a different sound. On the way into town today, she found the tag on her blankie for the first time...boy was she amused by that! If only we as adults took the time to look around and appreciate the small things in life, I think we would be a lot happier. Babies are so happy with any new thing they learn or encounter. I too am amused with the little things, but they don't excite me near as much. I think that I will work on appreciating all the small things in life we take for granted!


Spike is such a goof ball, seriously! I can't even BEGIN to explain how weird this dog is. Last night he wouldn't go pee at all! I let him out soooo many times for at least 3-5 minutes at a time. I even was walking around with him. He wouldn't go. Finally I took him to bed and we went to sleep. This morning he was DYING to get outside. Normally I kind of have to push him out the door...not this morning. He sprinted so fast to the grass and relieved himself for a good 20 seconds, haha. Silly stubborn dog. Then this morning when we got to the office, he was super wound up. I let him outside and there's a long gravel driveway behind my mom's office. He sprints out and runs down the driveway, then back...looks at me, and does it again! Haha, it was the funniest thing I've ever seen. Seriously, my dog is a goober.


Today is a lot cooler than I was expecting it to be. Ahh, I was NOT prepared when I got dressed this morning for the chill air. I think it might rain too, not what I wanted today after yesterday's glorious 60 degree crisp day. Oh well, it is La Grande; we've been known to have rain, snow, sun, AND hail all in one day. It does smell amazing outside and driving up towards campus looks beautiful! When I get a camera--possibly today--I will take pictures. The leaves are changing and it just looks amazing. I can't even put it into words.


I was quite sad I wasn't up for the meteor shower. I love astronomy and star gazing. It was definitely my favorite science class in high school. Oh well, I'm still young, hopefully someday in the semi-near future I will see another one.


Anyhow, I need to go to the store...AGAIN...to get more formula...AGAIN...before I forget. I hope everyone has a beautiful Wednesday. Ahh, it's almost Halloween and I'm pretty stoked!!! Not that I'm doing anything, but it'll still be fun. Anyways, love you all and miss you much! xoxo

I love Alan.

I had a great conversation with Alan tonight. It wasn't as long as I would've liked it to be, but talking is better than nothing at all. We are working through all the drama and curve balls we've been thrown the past week. If anything I really believe it's making us stronger. I am feeling much better about our relationship and everything as a whole. I know for sure that we are going to be alright and we really can overcome any obstacle thrown our way.


I'm sure there will be many more disagreements, frustrations, issues, and drama in the future. That's life and marriage. If there wasn't work involved, then something wouldn't be right. I am happy that we work things out and even happier that we learn and grow from our experiences.


Brittney is growing rapidly still, not that I was expecting her growth to hault. She is definitely pushing 18 pounds already, if not over. She is such a cute chub-a-lub! Yesterday when my mom was giving her a bath, she rolled over during bath...completely! Her face was under water and everything. It was pretty scary! She was screaming, my mom was half paniced, and I was like, omg...! She was alright, but she turned pretty red/purple from screaming so loud.


She is learning who is who. She is starting to notice who is a stranger and who is familar. It was almost over night that she went from letting anyone hold her, to crying if someone new held her. It's kinda neat to know that she finally recognizes who you are. You really are MOM or GRANDMA. She is talking so much more now too and even giggles out loud! Giggling out loud still isn't provoked by tickling, but more by funny faces or being tossed up in the air. I can only toss her up in the air so many times--5 or 6--then my arms feel like jelly, lol. She is FINALLY takinga bottle, although it's more of a sippy cup kind. We took the nipple of the NUK 6+ months trainer cups and she loves those nipples! She drinks the formula right down. It's funny, she's pretty picky about the formula. It has to be fresh, otherwise she won't drink it. It's actually really cute, although we're going to have to start watching how much we're wasting because that stuff is NOT cheap!


Her two bottom teeth are coming in even more! It's really exciting. Although not so much if you stick your finger in her mouth...she has no hard feelings about chomping down on it, and hard! She is fascinated with her hand/wrist/fingers. She will hold up her hand in front of her face and twist her hand back and forth almost like a wave. She just stares in awe; it's like the coolest thing she's ever seen. Then she'll move one finger at a time and kind of smile like, "Yup, I did that!" It's the cutest thing! She is rolling over even more now and can almost prop herself up on her hands! She is going to be crawling sooner than we realize I think. I don't know if I'm ready for that stage...yikes! Then we're really going to have to keep the house picked up since EVERYTHING goes in her mouth. Apparently I didn't put things in my mouth...Brittney does.


Spike is doing well. There are many days when my mom wants to kill him because he kinda is still having intentional accidents in the house. He hates the cold weather, wind, or rain...we'll take him out to go potty, walk around for a good three minutes and he won't do anything. The second we walk in the door and turn our heads, he's pooped in the house. Ahhh, it's sooo frustrating. Basically the dog is just stubborn. You would think he'd learn how to just poop and pee really fast and sprint back inside instead of wandering around the cold for minutes. Haha, stubborn dog!


Anyhow, I have to get my theory homework done before it gets too much later. Apparently there's supposed to be a big meteor shower tonight from 1-3 AM because we'll be catching the tail of Haley's Comet!! Ahh, I think that's awesome, I'm hoping to catch a glimpse. Love you all much and miss you very much baby cakes. You're the best, and I love you!!! xoxo

Lack of sleep.

Sadly, my violin hasn't received much love lately. Ahh, I really need to be practicing more than I have been. I've been up late because I haven't been able to sleep, and Brittney is teething so she is up/fussy quite a bit. Overall though she's still wonderful. I love her soooo much!!! Ahh, I can't wait for Alan to get back. I love him and miss him so much. Our relationship has definitely been tested these past few days. Luckily we are still doing wonderful and talk is a wonderful, beautiful thing. Apparently they had a rocket attack the other night and EVERYONE woke up except for my hubby, haha. No wonder he would never wake up to help me with Brittney. Anyhow, enough of this, I'm pooped and have more stuff to do tomorrow. Good night! xoxo

Orchestra, School, Excitement, Friends!!!

I have one of the coolest best friends in the world! Yup, that's the girl in the picture with me, Heather Luther! Oh my gosh, she is amazing. And our little kiddies, Drew and Brittney, are awesome! We had a fun photo shoot when she came to La Grande on Sunday. It looks like a gorgeous day, but in all reality it was FREEZING!! The wind was blowing and man oh man I was soooo cold. We managed to still look beautiful and take cheesy pictures. I am so thankful for her!! Seriously, she makes life so much better. She is the greatest and I just love her!


Onto other news, orchestra is going well. I really missed playing sooo much! I am still principal second, and hopefully soon I will be principal second of Oregon East Symphony in Pendleton. And to be entirely honest, I've been wanting that position for three or so years, lol. I'm really excited because that is a paid position. Although it's only $30 a rehearsal, it's still soemthing! Plus I love playing, so what better job am I going to find? Probably nothing. We are playing some pretty neat stuff in Grande Ronde Orchestra; however, this concert is probably my least favorite. Our cello soloist backed out or something so sadly we have to fill the gap with aria's. Ugh. Not entirely my favorite concert, but whatever.


I aced my first theory quiz!! That was really exciting. I was going to be sooo pissed if I didn't ace it, lol. I would be pretty upset. But I did, so there theory quiz!! Haha. I understand what we're doing now, but I get confused so easily when I'm rewriting things in ideally the same meter, but not. Not that that makes any sense...basically I get confused how to rewrite things from 6/4 to 6/8 or 3/4 to 3/2 things like that. I'm sure that makes absolutely NO sense to those of you who aren't music people, lol.


I have another awesome friend at EOU so that's great. Naomi...she's great. She's from Pendleton and I've actually known her for a while, but yea, it's great to actually hang out with her. It's actually great to hang out with anyone for that matter. Haha. But yea, we're playing a duet together and I think it'll be pretty awesome! I'm excited.


On extreme news, Barb was threatening to take me to court for visitation rights of Brittney. She drunk dialed my mom's office on Saturday and left this huge message. OMG, it was HORRIBLE. Man oh man, I was sooo upset. She was talking very slowly and referred to Brittney as her daughter. She was saying how she had mail for us and that she wanted to see Brittney at least once a week for at least an hour under Bill's supervision. She said if I didn't do this she would take things farther...meaning she'd try and get a court order. Anyhow, I emailed her and told her off and said she needs to stop calling my mom's office and such. And that I didn't appreciate she lying to me and Alan. When Alan asked her/confronted her about it, she denied it and said she didn't remember calling. The voice mail is saved so there is proof she called. Anyhow, I told her off again, since last time she didn't listen. Well today I stopped by to pick up our mail because I got to thinking there might be something important there. When I rang the door bell, Barb didn't even come to the door, she hid. Bill answered, and was a complete jack ass. I asked if he had our mail and he looked at me and was like, "We don't have your mail." I asked if he was sure, and he said, "Ya, nothing is here for you." And was just sooo rude, so I was like whatever. Basically I'm NEVER going back over there. I don't care anymore. We will deal with this later when Alan gets back, but I refuse to be treated like that. I have been busy lately and haven't had time to stop by between classes, rehearsals and practicing. Anyhow, the whole ordeal is ridiculous! I just don't know anymore.


I won't go back over there until Alan gets back or visits. I just don't want to deal with it and I don't think it's fair. I know I haven't been entirely nice, but Barb hasn't done anything to help the relationship herself. I have always told her nicely to not do certain things, but she never listens. I told her that I wouldn't bring Brittney by if she was still drinking and she told me she wasn't. Um...her message said otherwise, but ahh. I just have to let things go. I will just not worry anymore and let Alan deal with it.


In terms of getting a vehicle, I don't know. I am hoping for the November 7th paycheck, but we'll see. I don't know, but I'm really hoping I'll get it then so I can travel to Pendleton and play in OES. I don't know what I want anymore, I've gotten to the point where I just want any vehicle, lol. I don't know, I'm just trying not to think about that either.


Alan and I are doing great even with the drama going on between us. I miss him, he misses me, but we're doing good. We talk as much as possible, and that's nice. We are still dealing with bills, but who knows. I know that everything will be alright. I love him! I sent him a care package, and then the next day I sent him a card. I feel pretty cool! Haha.


I got my awesome leg warmers and my cool Halloween costume. I'm so excited for Halloween! I'm actually not going to be very skanky. I'm pretty sure I have shorts shorter than this dress/outfit. Oh well, it still looks awesome! Plus, I wasn't going for skanky! Ha. Anyhow, I am very excited for a new day. I should get some sleep, it's 1:24 AM and I have to get up in the morning and go down to Grandma's house to spend some time with them with Brittney. Apparently she cried all day today. She is suddenly getting used to who she knows and who she doesn't know. She now cries with strangers or people she isn't used to. I feel horrible for my Grandparents, so it was a slight wake up call that I should be spending more time there with Brittney. Oh yea, her doctor's appointment went great! She is a very healthy 17 lbs, 8 oz and 26 1/4 inches! She's a big girl. The doctor said she is very healthy and is growing great.


Have a great night everyone! I am looking forward to what the rest of the week has planned for me and Brittney and me and my violin. Hopefully we'll have a good relationship this week, not the usual love/hate one! Haha, yes, I talk about me and my violin as one. Well...we kinda are! Anywho, I'm exhausted and my eyes are drooping. Plus this blog is getting to be a short novel. Good night! xoxo

Swine Flu!

Wow, so I know that Swine Flu has been pushed overboard a little, but after hearing about all the deaths, now that's just scary!!! My brother is definitely getting a shot since my dad heard about the 15 year old girl who died. I know it's rare, but still, the fact that people--children--are dying, is scary!! I am definitely worried about Brittney, but she is too young for the vaccienes.


Anyhow, she had her doctor's appointment today! She weighs 17 pounds, 8 ounces!!! Funny, we're watching a tv thing on the news and a baby was uninsurable because he was four months old and 17 pounds...um...that's how big Brittney is!? Haha, I just found it humorous. Luckily she's covered under Alan's insurance, lol. She is 26 and a quarter inches long! She's such a big girl!


She doesn't feel too well because of the shots. She's very fussy.Anyway, well dinner is ready, I'll write more at some other point!!

Darned Facebook!

Call me an addict, I don't really care, but Restaurant City on Facebook has NOT been letting me on at all today. I'm a little stressed, I wanted to get my free ingredient, AND I really need to feed my people, lol. Ahhh!!! I know, it's really sad and pathetic, but what can I say, it's what I do. And don't judge because I know there are some other Facebook game addicts out there too : )



In other news, I have a violin student!!!!! I am very excited. Her name is Farrell, I think, lol. Anyhow, she's 12 years old and from Baker City. She is the sweetest little girl ever! She seems eager to learn and such, so that's cool. Unfortunately her previous teacher has done a lot of damage. Ugh, I don't understand why teachers can't teach good posture and technique also, how hard is that!? I thought that was part of your job AS a teacher.



Basically, she doesn't know how to hold her violin up properly, or hold her bow. Also, her previous teacher would play everything for her, but not require her to get the CD that goes with the pieces she's working on. On top of that, she would write in ALL of the fingerings on EVERY piece. That is NOT acceptable, and I told my student that I don't want that anymore. We will work on things and I will tell her what I want her to do.


I am helping out with the youth orchestra, which should really be called the beginning orchestra or something else because all three of the cellists are adults. And then there are two ladies who are also adults who play violin. Anyhow, back to the point...the girl I'm working with, well her teacher is playing in the orchestra too to "help them out." Argh, she drives me crazy!!! I had to constantly talk to my student and work with her. I told her what I wanted her to do in terms of her orchestra music for next week and her previous teacher chimed in and said, "Oh, well we're going to work on it in Baker. We'll have a group lesson." I was thinking, omg, I don't want her to continue working with my student!!! I am never going to break her bad habits if she keeps working with this lady! I have to talk to Lisa, my teacher, and ask her what I should do.



I just feel terrible for the little girl because she really wants to learn and she's so bright. I just hope I can get her on the right path of good technique, posture, and sound. I know I can, it's just going to be interesting to see how long it takes. It doesn't help that her previous teacher drives me INSANE. She is just one of those people that rubs you the wrong way. She kind of thinks she's a lot better than she is, and on top of that, her students are not all that great!!!


On a completely different note, fiddle ensemble was pretty good today. I didn't freak out when it was time to improvise on our chords for a jig. I was actually kind of excited to try some things and see what worked out and what didn't. It was kind of hard when we switched time signatures, but it wasn't terribly bad. Brittney did good in class. She was only a little fussy, so that's good. She was even trying to talk / sing along when people were playing. She was matching pitches too; although I think it was more on accident than anything. It was cool none the less.


Alan has been pretty busy with work. We still haven't been able to work out a set schedule of when to talk regularly. It definitely makes things hard, but so far we're doing alright. We at least send each other two or three emails a day so that's good. I missed his call tonight and I was just so upset! Especially since his voicemail was very sad and there wasn't even an "I love you" in it. I emailed him and told him to call me back, but sadly he couldn't. It's hard having busy nights with music rehearsals. I know we're fine, but it's still hard.



He told me he didn't call the other day because the room where the internet and phones were was shut down. They keep getting bomb threats and such which is really scary!! I am very worried about him, but I'm sure everything will be alright. At least that is what I have to tell myself, otherwise I start to think of all the bad that COULD happen. I just stay positive and take each day as it comes.



It is so nice being back in school though. I feel like I have some sense of freedom, especially since I get some time away from Brittney. She is growing up so fast, but I feel like I still have some growing up of my own to do. I love her more than anything else, but it is great to get away. Even if it's only for an hour or two. I am so happy to be around people that are my age. This last year in Virginia was great the last four months. The first part I was there was really hard. I didn't really know anyone, and I basically just sat at home. It was tough. I made some amazing friends, but sadly it was as I was leaving.



I am loving seeing all my friends here though. They are all such wonderful people. Lisa Cargill has been so wonderful as to watch Brittney when my family isn't. It's great having such an awesome support group here too. I love being so close to Heather and Drew!! Having lunch dates with Maegan is awesome too!! It almost feels as though we're back in high school...but wayy cooler than that now : ) It just seems as though there isn't a care in the world. I have the greatest friends here, and the best husband and a beautiful daughter.

Halloween is quickly approaching and I am pretty excited!! Brittney is going to be a cheerleader mainly because mom bought the outfit, and it's easy. Plus, it's not like she's actually going tick-or-treating. I think I'm actually going to dress up too! I am thinking about being a "sexy sports ref". Although it is going to be a modified costume. The outfit itself will be down to my knees just because I'm so short. I'm wearing tennis shoes versus heels, black tights, and a tank top underneath the outfit itself. Although this isn't set in stone yet at all. Heather and I are trying to think up of something to do for Halloween. We are for sure getting pictures with our kiddies, since it's their first Halloween!!!

We were thinking about finding a low key, friends that we know, kid friendly party. HAHA, yea right, but we were thinking. I don't even think that I'll go out, but who knows. Heather, Brittney, Drew, Nayt, and I might just end up going out to dinner together. We'll all be dressed up. Since Heather and Nayt are 21 already, they can just order drinks. But they are planning on driving back home to Baker that night, so they are planning on being responsible. Plus, they have Drew. Same goes for me, I wouldn't do anything stupid because I'm a mommy!!


My 21st is coming up in 54ish days I think? I don't remember, but I do know it's under 60 now!! I am definitely stoked, although it will be pretty lame and uneventful. As always, I have music conflicts during my birthday and birthday weekend. I have orchestra rehearsal ON my birthday, then that weekend is the holiday music festival concert...Saturday AND Sunday...bleh. Oh well, it is definitely for the better. Even so, I wouldn't go out and get plastered. That is NOT what I want to do. I think I am more wanting to go out and buy something because I can. That is always a horrible reason to do something, but I want to be carded. I remember when I turned 18 I bought a scratch-it lottery ticket and a cigar. I felt so cool to be carded. I never smoked the cigar because I didn't have any desire to, and I had no idea how to light the dumb thing. With the scratch-it, I think I won five bucks, lol.



Brittney is rolling over almost completely now! Her arm only gets stuck every once in a while. Okay, every time she does it. Some of the times she actually figures out how to get it out. She is growing up so fast!!! I can't believe it. She still won't take a bottle which has its upsides and downsides. I know that breast milk is AMAZING for her, but at the same time I kind of want some freedom. On top of that, winter is coming and I want to be able to wear sweatshirts, or just shirts in general. I don't want to have to worry about if I can get to my boob to feed her or not, lol. Ah, the joys of motherhood.


She is eating more solid foods, thus very stinky diapers. Man oh man, they are foul!!! They are sooo bad!! They're even starting to be different colors, lol, and are starting to have some solid chunks in there. That was probably a TMI moment, but whatever, lol. She talks a lot now too. And she giggles! I love it when she giggles and smiles. It melts your heart like nothing else. Unfortunately she has been waking up a few times at night to eat, weird, but true. I think she might be growing, but who knows. They're always growing. That is part of the reason I am writing this. I want to clear my head so I can sleep, and she'll be waking up here shortly to eat again, lol.



She gets her next round of shots on Monday the 12th. Poor baby girl. Luckily I'm having my mom come with me since she doesn't work. Then Brittney can spend the day at home relaxing and doesn't have to be drug around town or class. Hopefully everything will be fine. I'm sure it will. She did great with her first round. She just slept a lot. Hopefully that'll be the case this time too.



Anyhow, I am getting tired---finally! It seems like it takes me a while to fall asleep, but I feel like my mind is clear so I can. I love you all and thanks for reading!!!



xoxo

Moodiness....GAGH

I am beyond cranky today. I don't know why, but I'm soooo ahh! I talked to Alan tonight, but I was just soooo stressed out and such. Ah, I don't know. I think it might be the distance? Although I don't know. I guess I'm still stressing about our unpaid bills and ugh, everything is just piling up.



Brittney is growing so rapidly! I can't even believe it. She is so adorable and I just love her so much! I miss Alan, and I'm sure she does too, but she's being very well taken care of. I love Alan so much!!! Ahh I miss him. I am so cranky! I think I'm PMSing, blah. I am sooo cranky, ughhh....And obviously I keep repeating myself.



I still have a ridiculous stuffy nose, ah, I hate having stuffy noses. They're the worst. I continue to shove tissue up my poor nostrils and yea, it's not pretty. I have found that my spelling/typing is so horrible lately. Spike is adorable. He hates the cold. I'm totally just babbling yet again about absolutely nothing.



Sadly I am still moody. Ugh, I think I'm just going to enjoy The O.C. Season 2 haha. Well I'm gonna go for now. Much love!!!



xoxo

Afghanistan....Fall...Caramel Macchiatto's...School!

Alan FINALLY got a flight into Afghanistan! He is leaving...well he is in flight now! I am soooo happy!! Man, for a while we were worried that he wouldn't ever get there. But he said it was like a four hour flight. He's doing great though! I'm so happy. I love him to death!!!



I had a great day with Heather and Drew today. I love them to death!!! But yes, today was wonderful. It was the longest I have EVER been away So I am totally side tracked and don't feel like writing anymore now...ttyl!

Alan, School, Blah

Alan has been sitting in a tent for two days now in Kuwait. He refuses to leave his chair because somebody will take it. Finally today he got food and water! I think he needs to eat more, lol. I have been very lucky and fortunate to be able to talk to him as much as I have been. I just wish we could text too, oh well. I am happy I get to at least talk. Alan doesn't know when he will get to Afghanistan. He is being paid a LOT of money to just sit there. Ugh, I wish he didn't have to be so far away to be paid a lot of money. I miss him!! I want him here so much!!! So every time he calls, for some reason the phone hangs up at least once during our conversation, lol. It's kinda frustrating!



I still think that it would be interesting to see what it's like over there. I can't even fathom it. On a completely different note, I cannot WAIT for the 7th. We really need the money! Man oh man! Actually things won't be good good for about three months or so. Sometimes time can't fly by fast enough for multiple reasons. I want Alan back now, and I want to be out of debt!



Classes started yesterday. It is great to be back in school. I think music theory will actually be kinda fun this year! Who knows though...it's only been one day, lol. I am registered for fiddle ensemble, but I really REALLY don't like the class. Orchestra and my lesson are tomorrow so we'll see how that goes....I don't know what's going to happen. I love being back in school, but it's hard to have a baby too. Oh man, it's hard! I love Brittney to death, but sometimes I wish I could just be a college student. I wouldn't even mind being a married college student. Just being a mom now too is hard. It's even harder when my wonderful princess won't take a bottle!! Grrrr...



Mom and I are thinking that one day we're just going to have to cold turkey it until she eats. I know breast feeding is sooo good for her, but sometimes I think formula would be good...Ahh!! So many mixed feelings about the topic. She does love baby bananas, she ate one and a half containers. AND then nursed, wtf!? Growing girl, that's all I can say.



On a completely different note, there is a HUGE 2,000 + acre fire burning not too far from here and it's super smokey. Unfortunately it's making my asthma act up--ugh. On top of that, I think I have a cold from lack of sleep. Bah hum bug...I hate being sick. I am soooo tired! So I splurged on some clothes--shirts--and now we're even more broke than before. I can't even explain how bad I want the next pay day to come. Sadly we have a lot of bills to take care of...Cell, apartment, cable, HOSPITAL, and who knows what else....ugh. Oh well, I'm sure we'll figure it out, we always do...



As soon as I get a car, life will be a lot easier. I have no idea what we're getting yet, and probably won't know until I pick it up from wherever. Ah, I can't wait!!!! I really want a car. I want it so I can take Brittney to Maegs house SOOO much easier. It's kinda a further walk that I remember, lol. It is just a little farther than I want to walk. It takes me almost 40 minutes to walk there and back...not exactly what I want to be doing. I really need to figure out some other things too...ugh. Anyhow, I am LITERALLY falling asleep as I write this. I have got to go to bed tonight. I am sooooo tired! I will write more later : ) I love you all so much. Can't wait for the weekend already!!!



xoxo

Hello Goodbye My Love.

Alan is gone...gone out of the states and off to Afghanistan. I didn't realize how hard it would be....now that he's actually gone it's kinda scary. You don't realize how much you take for granted, for example texting whenever! Now that he's somewhere in Europe we can't text. I miss him already. I am worried sick just because I can't talk to him whenever I want to. I can't text or call. It's still really weird. The whole situation still seems so unreal. I miss him so much! I didn't think it would be this hard, but it's kinda hitting me now.



Luckily I have the best friends in the world that will be there for me. And my family is being awesome, so I know I'll be alright. I still can't believe he's gone. Alan is actually gone. Wow. I don't even know what to think. I miss him already! Ahhh. I hope that time will go by fast. I am hoping he'll be back for Christmas. I can last that long...it is only 85ish days away.



I can't wait to start class. It will give me something to do and keep me busy. I told Alan I would stop worrying about a vehicle, but ah, I can't wait. I really need one. Walking around everywhere sucks. Oh well, it's good exercise. But it's getting colder and, ahh, okay, gotta stop worrying. Anyhow, I still can't believe he's gone.



I have theory tomorrow...eh...still my least favorite music class. Oh well, I'm still excited to get back. I am hoping to do a lot of practicing this year...but we'll see. Life always seems to get in the way. I want everything to go well. I am hoping to get my GPA back up, it's really bad right now. I am exhausted so I think I'm going to watch some One Tree Hill and await Alan's call...although I might just have to wait and see/hope he leaves a voice mail. I love you all so much! Thanks for reading : )

Exhausted!

I am so tired!! Yesterday was a lot of fun with Heather and Drew, but I am still a little jet lagged. Three hours is quite a bit when you think about it. I can't even explain how tired I am right now. I was up super late, not sleeping. But I emailed Alan and then fell asleep. Brittney got up early though, so we were up around 7, but then went to sleep around 8 for a few more hours. Random comment--watching the Giants vs. Cowboys and it's down to 13 seconds and the Cowboys are ahead by 1. Giants ball at the 21 yard line!!!




Anyhow, I am very happy because Alan decided to for sure come home in December!!! I am sooooo excited! I have no idea yet what we're doing after Christmas, because I know he doesn't want to stay here for longer than he has to. Haha. But I already am looking forwards to seeing him again!!! I know it'll be great : ) I am thinking that I will be getting a car around October 22...I think. We shall see though. Random interruption again--GIANTS WON!!!





My dad gets back from hunting tomorrow and I am pretty excited to see him. He has been up hunting in the Eagle Caps the past few days. He was really close to a 6 point, but totally missed it, lol. The arrow went like ten feet to the side of it, haha. My mom was dancing with Brittney saying, "papa didn't get an elk! The elk won!" HAHA.




I love Spike a lot, but man oh man I'm going to kill him!!!! He poops in the exact same spot like 10 times! And he doesn't like going outside if it's cold...I need to get him a sweater. AND, he tried to bite mom today! She came in to let him out to go potty this morning, and he growled. Mom said no and tried to pick him up and oh dear, it was down hill from there. I really hope he gets his act together otherwise this is not going to end well.




He gets fixed on Tuesday. I hope it goes well!! I am so excited for orchestra rehearsal to start!! It starts in like 10 days!! I am very happy to be playing again. I really need to finish getting my finances in order, but it'll be alright. Wow, I haven't played in sooo long! I was thinking about playing today, but I didn't get to it. Ahh, I can't believe how fast everything is happening again!




I think I'm going to go wait for Alan to call and put in some One Tree Hill or The O.C. I love my hubby and am sooooo excited to see him!!! He is the best and even though I miss him, I love him and am not worried at all. He is the best, and we are awesome! And Brittney is adorable!! Ooo, speaking of...Brittney ate baby rice cereal today! She seemed to like it! She made some silly faces, but once she got the hang of eating off a spoon, she thought it was pretty good. I mixed it with breast milk versus water or formula. Anyhow, my eyes are drooping. Good night! I loveeeee ALAN!!!

Last Night With Daddy

Well, it's officially begun. Our journey of being apart. We didn't even get everything done that needed to be done. Wow, I still can't believe everything is finally happening!

Alan had his physical and shots today. Luckily everything went great. I miss him so much already. Our goodbye was definitely hard. It finally hit me as I was leaving that we were going to be apart!! I was crying, and he was telling me not to and just be strong. Especially for him since he had a lot to finish. He was walking away, and I ran after him crying...lol. Luckily the cab arrived within the next minute, thank god!

The trip home went well, but the flight to Vegas was VERY long. It was over 5 hours. Brittney and I were very pooped and cranky. Especially since Alan and I had been up soooo late the past week. Things are going well...other thank Spike is pooping and peeing everywhere...lol. Luckily he's getting a little better and has been going outside. I'm having to retrain him, ick. Oh well, it will be TOTALLY worth it.

My grandparents got Brittney a really cute Winnie the Pooh swing. She LOVES it!! It's very nice to have something to put her in when I'm trying to get things done. My grandma and I are going to make Brittney's crib bumper and and ruffle. I'm very excited. I wanted it to match the quilt she made. Brittney is playing with the toys on her swing tray as she dozes off. It's adorable. I can't believe how much she's already changed. She is great!

Alan is CONSIDERING coming back to for Christmas. Man I hope he does!! I miss him so much. I know things will be fine. I have just been so tired that I don't know what to do. Tomorrow I'm getting together with Heather and Drew and that should be a lot of fun. I should get to bed since I'm beyond exhausted, lol.

I started cleaning my room and putting Brittney's together. It will definitely be a long work in progress. Just like training Spike NOT to pee and poop everywhere. Hopefully once he gets his balls snipped on Tuesday it'll slowly get better...within a month...lol. I'm hoping! I'm very excited to get everything organized for Brittney. But in the meantime it's kinda overwhelming, lol. Oh well, just doing it a little at a time.

I am glad to be home, but am not. It's so hard. I wish Alan was closer, and I wish we were on same time zones, lol. It is nice to be close ... with my family ... and near friends, and going back to school, but it still sucks not being with Alan. Luckily I have Brittney and Spike and awesome parents/grandparents and friends!! Anyhow, I'm exhausted and Brittney is ready for sleep too. She is dozing off...good night!

Best Friends Forever!!

Spike and Brittney are totally adorable!! Spike loves her so much already, it's so stinking cute. Spike loves jumping up and saying hello and everything. He just lies right next to her. He's such a sucker for her.

Speaking of the wonderful damn dog...he totally destroyed our carpet even MORE! The bedroom is horrible. He got underneath it and got the foam all tore up. Man oh man, it's not good at all. I love him to death, but sometimes you wanna kill him!! Although I promise I would NEVER EVER do such a thing, but seriously....damn dog!

In terms of packing, a lot has gotten done in the last two days. I had a huge meltdown of overwhelmingness and reality. Oh man, it was horrible!!!!! I was yelling and throwing things; I was so stressed out and sad. Everything kind of hit all at once and I was super duper upset. Luckily, we talked a lot and got things worked out and cleaned A TON! We got so much packed yesterday. I was just feeling stressed about all we had to do, and the fact that I would be going to the airport by myself : ( Oh well, we are fine now.

After our huge argument and cleaning until 2:15 AM, we had a shower to wash the grime off, and then had the most amazing night of cuddles and fun...lol. It was just a great way to end the night. Today I managed to get a lot of things to the post office to mail home thanks to my wonderful friend Marian. Ah, she is such a life saver in terms of rides--THANKS a MILLION MARIAN!!

Tomorrow, Alan has a ton of running around to do. Oh man, he HAS to get his passport, otherwise he won't be able to go. AND he has to go to the dentist for another appointment...hopefully the last, although he needs a root canal still and his dentist won't do it...but we NEED her to because he won't be able to go overseas if it's not filled. So I think I'm mailing more stuff home so I won't have AS much when I fly. I got Spike a cute little carrier that is airline approved : ) Ahh, everything is happening soooo fast!

Right now I have a mind splitting headache, but am too anxious and busy writing this blog to go get ibuprofen, lol. Anyhow, I am hoping that we get everything in storage and such tomorrow too. We have quite a bit of heavy stuff to get out of here so we'll see. I know that my husband is superman with his powers to carry heavy stuff out, but I worry still. Okie dokie, I HAVE to help now and get some medicine for my head and post another ad on craigs list! Woot, hopefully more money!!!!

DCA...DULLES...GEROGIA...KUWAIT...BOISE...

Wow, Alan has his tickets to go bye bye. I can't believe it. Thursday I fly back to Oregon, and he flies to Georgia. Sadly his flight leaves at 6:00 AM from DCA and I leave a noon from Dulles...which is like 30-40 minutes away. Ah, it's so sad. I don't know what I'm going to do. Maybe I'll just go to the airport really early so I can be sure to say my last goodbyes. Wow, I can't believe this is really happening still.



He leaves for Kuwait on the 25th, so I'll still be able to talk to him up until then. Ah, wow. That's all I can say, lol. But, I know we'll be okay. We have SOOOO much to do...stoarage stuff, finish packing, clean, more storage stuff...get things TO storage, lol. Wow...I am feeling slightly overwhelmed, but we'll be good. I just have sooo much stuff to do and take!



I still can't believe how fast everything is happening...okay, I've gotta STOP blogging and start cleaning...damn....lol.

Forever together!

We have almost been married an entire year. It's hard to believe, but this time last year, we were just moving out here. We were completely lost and didn't know what the following year had in store for us. Now, we have been in the DC area for a year and it seems completely normal. We are getting ready to embark on yet another large adventure for the up coming year. I am down to four days with Alan until the dreaded departure day from each other. I leave on Thursday to go home. I am so sad and have so many mixed feelings. Now that the time is so close, I'm not sure how I feel about the whole situation.

I know that everything happens for a reason and I know that we will be good. I can't believe that just a short 12 months ago we were newly weds and had no idea what was in store for us...here we are no longer "newly weds" and still have no idea what is in store for us. I guess that never changes. You always have obstacles and challenges and plenty of adventures.

I guess marriage is all one big adventure. You never know where you will be from one day to the next. I am not the biggest fan of not knowing what will happen, but I guess it keeps us alive and not bored. I love my Alan so much! Ugh, once again, while writing this I am still procrastinating. The thought that we will be apart in less than a week scares the shit out of me!! Ahhh!! Luckily I have the best friends and support group to get me through this. I love you guys all soooo much!!

Well this is enough posting for now. I REALLY need to stop procrastinating and get some things done. I have so much to do! I can't wait to see everyone, but am so terribly sad to be leaving my hubby : ( We will no matter what be forever together. One year apart won't change the way we feel towards each other. It will just make us realize how much we love each other and how we never want to be apart ever again!

Date Night!!!!

Tonight was a great night!! We were going to just chill out and such, but then decided to go out with friends. We went to Shiro Japanese Grill--where they cook in front of you--and omg it was phenomenal! We had spicy tuna sushi and cucumber rolls. Then we had amazing teryiaki chicken with friend rice. Man oh man, it was spectacular!! We got all prettied up and such. Before we left we watched a totally fucked up movie. We watched "Last House on the Left". DON'T WATCH! It was horrible!! I have never seen a movie that actually SHOWS a rape scene. It was appalling! Anyhow, back to our night...


After yummy dinner, we got viente coffees! He got a caramel macchiato with an extra pump of syrup AND an extra shot. I got a vanilla/caramel latte with an extra shot. It was amazing. Basically it was just a spectacular night full of good conversation and great food! Yum. I could seriously just eat rice. Haha.

Brittney did great tonight too. She slept the entire time during dinner and was just the cutest little baby ever. Ahh, I'm so happy to be a mom. Anyhow, we are going to have a great conclusion to our date night...another movie then who knows...use your imagination : )